Desperately seeking....a solution

What can you do when one bad hair day follows on the heels of another? Okay, so I'm not given to endless hours of preening and pampering my locks, but I'm sure the daily spectacle hasn't always been as consistently shocking as is now the case.

Where am I going wrong?
How can I re-train it?
What can I do to bring it under control?

Ringing the changes on hair care products is merely an expensive, ineffective and ultimately un-ecologically-friendly activity; it simply fills the bathroom with yet more colourful bottles, tubes or canisters and the added turmoil of choosing from the array of promised perfection. Allowing it to grow longer gives it yet more scope for unruliness; shorter, it will spike with impunity. Of course, I should be grateful to have something to keep the sun off my scalp. Perhaps I should re-educate my sensibilities, learn to relish the daily surprise waiting when I peer hazily in the mirror, recognise and appreciate each fresh and unique artistic creation waving teasingly from my head. After all, anything goes these days, from the longer scrunched to the shorter stubble.
I’ll confess, I’ve quietly tried a few tactical variations but didn’t dare venture out in them once I’d had the unnerving question ‘What have you done to your hair?’ from everyone in the house...except the dog, who has no right to question such matters.